


A Million Dreams

by TheNightFury



Series: Prince of Lasan [1]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kallus and Zeb as children, M/M, Meet As Children, royal au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 20:59:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16312628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightFury/pseuds/TheNightFury
Summary: The life of a Royal was hardly what Zeb had planned for himself, but life rarely went according to plan. A chance meeting between the crowned prince of Lasan and a senators son, will change not only their fates, but the fate of Lasan.





	A Million Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Esmiora (http://esmiora.tumblr.com/) drew up amazing art for this fic! Go check it out when she posts it!

The stars passed by the viewport in a blur as they traveled through hyperspace to Lasan, Alex watching the view in wonder. There was something about the sight that Alex loved to watch, something his parents never understood. Luckily for Alex though, his parents were too busy grumbling to notice what he was doing.

“I do not understand why the senate wants to recruit these savage beasts,” His father grumbled.

“While I am inclined to agree this could be a good learning experience for Alexsandr,” His mother said. “I still wonder if it’s safe to bring him to a planet full of such savage beasts.” It took every fiber of his being not to outwardly respond to his parent’s vile comments about the Lasat. Why did they hate non-humans so much? There was nothing savage about his best friend Gyax, and he was a Rodian. 

“We’re about to exit hyperspace,” the pilot informed them. 

“Good, the sooner we land, the sooner we can leave,” His father grumbled, Alex rolling his eyes.

“Come along Alexsandr,” His mother said, “We don’t want to embarrass the Republic now do we?”

“Yes mother,” Alex sighed, standing up, his mother immediately trying to straighten out his clothes and smooth down his hair.

“Mother I look fine!” Alex sighed. 

“You only have one chance to make a good first impression,” His mother scolded. “So you need to make it count.”

“Yes mother,” Alex grumbled, fighting an eye roll. 

“It will have to do I suppose….” She sighed as she finished smoothing his hair down. 

“Marian we have to go,” his father said. 

“Right, come Alexsandr,” His mother said. 

“Coming,” Alex sighed, wondering why his parents seemed to think he would run off or refuse to get off the ship? Or that he was deaf, though some days he wished he was. Alex fell into step behind his parents as the ramp lowered to reveal Lasan’s wonders. Lasan’s Honor Guard lined the pathway leading up to the castle where the Royal Family stood waiting to greet them, the guardsman banging the ground with their weapons, a loud cheer erupting from the crowd. Alex could barely contain his excitement as he looked around the crowd in wonder. All of this just to greet a couple of senators? It was astounding to see. Barely acknowledging the crowd that had so eagerly come to greet them, his parents made his way to the entrance of the palace, Alex having to jog to keep up with their quick pace, awkwardly waving to the crowd; earning smiles from the guardsmen.

Once they reached the steps to the castle, his parents bowed, Alex hurriedly following suit. 

“Rise,” The queen said, “Welcome to Lasan senator, and welcome to your family as well.”

“We are honored to be here,” His father said, Alex fighting to not roll his eyes. 

“This is our son Alexsandr,” His mother said. “Is this young man your son?”

“He is my nephew Garazeb,” The queen said, “Currently he is the sole heir to the throne.”

“It is an honor then to meet you as well,” His mother said. 

“Thank you,” Garazeb said, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, bit that any of the adults cared, they never cared. 

“Come,” The queen said, “We have prepared a feast in honor of your arrival.”

“Your hospitality is greatly appreciated,” His mother said as she followed the Queen as she led them through the castle, Garazeb hanging back for a moment to allow Alex to reach him. 

“Hi,” He whispered.

“Hello,” Alex greeted. 

“You’re the first kid to visit,” Garazeb informed him as the adults walked further and further ahead of them. 

“Really?” Alex curiously asked.

“Yea, most senators don’t bring their families with them.”

“I don’t know why my mom wanted me to come….she hates anything that isn’t human,” Alex grumbled. “I don’t get why….my best friend is a Rodian and he’s no different from us.”

“Most human senators are like that…at least that’s what my aunt says,” Zeb said. “You’re not though so maybe she’s wrong.” 

“I hope most people aren’t like my parents,” Alex admitted. “My parents….they’re terrible.”

“I’m sorry….I don’t know what my mom was like but my dad’s pretty good….I like being with him more than my aunt but everyone says it’s my duty to let her teach me about being royalty. I’d much rather be an Honor Guardsmen like my dad!”

“My parents want me to be a Senator,” Alex admitted. “I don’t know what I want to do so I guess I should be a Senator….”

“My dad says that I’m just a kid and it’s not fair to already have my life planned out for me….I think he’d say the same to you cuz you’re almost the same age as me right?” Zeb asked. 

“I’m seven,” Alex supplied. 

“I’m eight!” Zeb exclaimed. “I haven’t been able to play with someone my age in a long time….”

“My parents hate my only friend because he isn’t human….” Alex mumbled. “So I don’t see him much….”

“That’s really sad,” Zeb mumbled. 

“I’ve gotten used to it…” Alex mumbled as they were led into a grand hall with a large table set in the center. The hall was decorated with wreaths of flowers of all shapes and colors, in the center of the table sat a large bouquet of flowers. “Wow…”

“What do you guys not have flowers?” Zeb asked. 

“We do….but we don’t use them like this,” Alex said, “Was everything decorated for our visit?”

“Nah, it’s always like this,” Zeb said as they were escorted to their seats. Alex and Zeb on the far side of the table with the adults on the other.

“Wow, that sounds nice,” Alex admitted. 

“I guess it would be kind of weird for it not to be decorated,” Zeb commented as platters of food was placed in front of them, none of which Alex recognized. 

“I’ve never seen food like this before,” Alex said. 

“Really?” Zeb curiously asked, “Well this is one of my favorites.” Zeb added reaching for one of the meat platters that was filled with slices of a dark brown meat covered in a maroon colored sauce.

“What is this?” Alex asked as he took some.

“Traladon steak,” Zeb said. “And I think that’s a melioroon sauce.”

“I’ve had melioroon’s before,” Alex said and he curiously took some food from what appeared to be a steamed vegetables dish.

“My mom used to love them,” Zeb said. “I think that’s why my aunt makes stuff with them a lot to remember her…”

“Did your mom die?” Alex nervously asked. 

“Yea,” Zeb mumbled, “I don’t remember her too well though…but my dad really misses her.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex mumbled. 

“It’s okay,” Zeb assured, flashing a smile at him. “I still have my dad and he’s great!” 

“Does he live in the castle with you?”

“No,” Zeb admitted, his smile faltering. “My aunt doesn’t really like him…normally he would be here since he’s captain of the guard but she didn’t want him here cuz there would be visitors.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Dad says she claims him being there would make things awkward because he’s my dad but he’s not royalty. I think it’s stupid though.”

“It sounds stupid,” Alex agreed. 

“I hardly get to see my dad anymore,” Zeb said, “I miss seeing him every day.”

“Do you ever get to see him?” Alex asked. 

“When my aunt doesn’t have any training for me,” Zeb sighed, “It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I get to stay with my dad!”

“At least you see him sometimes,” Alex said. “Honestly I sometimes wish I never saw my parents….and I barely see them as is.”

“…do you want to meet my dad?” Zeb asked. 

“Won’t your aunt not like that?” Alex asked. 

“I doubt she’d even notice I’m gone,” Zeb grumbled. “She never noticed me when she’s with guests.”

“My parents are the same,” Alex admitted. 

“Come on let’s go!” Alex whispered, earning a grin from Zeb who immediately got out of his chair, Alex eagerly doing the same, none of the adults at the table even noticing them leave, to engrossed in their debate over the efficiency of the Republic. The guardsmen in the room with them however did notice, but merely flashed smiles at the pair as they left the dining hall. 

“Do you normally just walk around Lasan on your own?” Alex asked once they were safely out of the dining hall.

“Usually a guard will follow me,” Zeb admitted. “Though they don’t say anything in front of the queen when I sneak out.”

“That’s pretty cool of them,” Alex said.

“Well my dad is captain and they all help take care of me,” Zeb said.

“So it’s like you had a bunch of dad’s instead of one?” Alex curiously asked. 

“Sort of yea,” Zeb said. 

“Now just where do you two think you’re going?” One of the guardsmen asked in what Alex thought was a playful tone. 

“I’m taking my friend Alex to meet my dad!” Zeb eagerly said. 

“Uh-huh and did the queen approve of this?” He asked with a smirk.

“…she didn’t say no,” Zeb sheepishly said. 

“Good enough for me,” the guardsman said, “Come on I’ll escort you two youngsters.”

“Thanks Uncle Arnan!” Zeb said. 

“Course kit, now come on.” Arnan said. 

“So are you Zeb’s uncle?” Alex asked. 

“Oh no, he just calls me uncle, not that I mind,” Arnan said, playfully ruffling the fur ontop of Zeb’s head, earning a laugh from him.

“I never met my aunts or uncles,” Alex admitted, “I don’t even know their names….”

“That’s unfortunate,” Arnan said, “Well I’ll just have to be your uncle.”

“Really?” Alex asked, eyes lighting up.

“Why not?” He asked, ruffling Alex’s hair. 

“I like your family way more than mine,” Alex said. 

“We’re your family now!” Zeb declared, laughing as he hugged Alex, earning a laugh from him as well.

“Come on you two, let’s get going.”

\-----

Efrem Orrelios hadn’t wanted much out of his life, except to live in peace with his wife and son. The Ashla however had other plans for him. He lost his wife to a terrible landslide, then when it was discovered the queen could not conceive, his son was taken from him. ‘For the greater good of Lasan’ they said. As if that could justify ripping his infant son from his arms so soon after losing his wife, leaving him so painfully alone. Though Zeb visited sometimes, usually without the queen’s permission, it just wasn’t the same as having him there with him. All he and his sweet Ilanit wanted for their son was for him to leave his life as he chose, not to be dragged into the life of a royal. 

It was lonely living alone in such a large house, but he couldn’t bear to give it up, it held too many memories. Now he spent most of his free time taking care of the garden he and his wife spent so many hours caring for. He could vividly remembering a newborn Zeb curiously crawling through the plants, giggling as he ripped flowers off the stem, raining petals down on him.He would give anything to be able to hear Zeb’s laughter every day again-

“Dad!” Zeb cried out, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Zeb?” Efrem asked, surprised for a moment, before joy the joy seeing Zeb pushed out any other thought, kneeling on the ground and opening his arms up for his son who eagerly jumped into his embrace, nuzzling into the embrace with a laugh. “It’s so good to see you kit.” He breathed, a joyous purr escaping him as Zeb nestled against him. He missed Zeb so much.

“I missed you dad,” Zeb mumbled.

“I missed you too,” Efrem said, reluctantly pulling Zeb away so he could look him in the eye, “Did you come alone?”

“Don’t worry Captain, I escorted them,” Arnan said.

“Them?” Efrem asked. 

“I made a friend today!” Zeb cheerfully said, pointing at Arnan’s feet where a young human boy was awkwardly standing. The senator’s son perhaps?

“Why hello there,” Efrem gently said, trying not to scare the child. “What’s your name?”

“His name’s Alex!” Zeb cheerfully supplied before he could. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Efrem said, “I’m Zeb’s dad.”

“Hello sir,” Alex said, tentatively walking forward with a gently nudge from Arnan. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you as well,” Efrem said, “But do you parents know you’re here? They must be worried sick.”

“They never notice when I’m gone,” Alex mumbled, “They left me on Naboo once and didn’t notice for a whole cycle.”

“What?” Efrem asked, forcing himself to remain calm and not lash out. He didn’t want to scare the poor boy.

Alex however merely shrugged and said, “It’s okay, I don’t like it when they’re around anyways.” Further enraging Efrem. How could parents lucky enough to still have their child not notice when they were gone? How could a parent make their child hate them?

Reigning in his anger, Efrem said, “That’s wrong, a parent shouldn’t leave the planet without their child.”

“I wish my parents thought so….” Alex mumbled, staring at the ground. 

“I said we could be his family!” Zeb exclaimed. 

“Sounds good to me,” Efrem said with a chuckle, “But he still has to go back to his parents.”

“Why? His parents don’t love him!”

“No they don’t, at least not as they should,” Efrem agreed, “But they are still his parents and we can’t just take children away because we think we would be better parents. You know better Garazeb.”

“I know dad,” Zeb said, ears flattening. “I’m sorry….Can Alex still be my friend.”

“If he wants to of course,” Efrem said. 

“Do you want to be friends Alex?” Zeb hopefully asked. 

“Yea!” Alex said, perking up. 

“Can we play dad?” Zeb hopefully asked.

“You go on and have fun okay?” Efrem assured, setting Zeb down so he could run back over to Alex and drag him off to the garden. 

“I’ll head back to the palace and make sure the queen doesn’t know Zeb came to visit,” Arnan assured. 

“Thank you.” Efrem said. “I’ll make sure to get them back in a couple hours.”

“Take your time, I’ll cover,” Arnan assured. 

“I don’t want to-“

“Enjoy some time with your son. You deserve it,” Arnan said. 

“Thank you,” Efrem said. 

“Zeb doesn’t smile much,” Arnan said, glancing over to where Alex and Zeb where playing “Seeing him so happy, it’s worth it.”

“He appreciates all you do for us,” Efrem said, “I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Arnan said, “Now I need to head back before someone notices I’m gone.”

“Yes of course, and thank you again.” Arnan smiled at him before turning back and going back down the path he’d just come from. It was good to know most of his men would do just about anything to help him get even a couple minutes with Zeb. Though he cherished every second he had with Zeb, it made him long for a time when he didn’t have to fight for the chance to see his son. He could hardly remember the last time he awoke to the sound of his laughter and the just barely risen sun. 

It had been even longer since he heard Zeb laugh so much, the weight of the crown already crushing him, stealing his youth, making him forget that he was a child. But this human Alex brought back the laughter and joy that had almost completely faded from Zeb’s eyes. Alex reminded Zeb that he was a child, allowed him to be a child, something Zeb oh so desperately needed right now. Something Efrem hoped Zeb would never forget. Hearing their laughter, and seeing them playing in the garden brought Efrem hope that maybe, just maybe with Alex Zeb wouldn’t forget.

\-----------

As the hours passed and the sun set lower and lower on the horizon, Efrem knew he would soon need to send the boys back to the palace. Especially Alex whose parents as inattentive as they were surely would have noticed their son was no longer with them by now. Right?

“Zeb Alex, come on boys, I need to get you back,” Efrem reluctantly called out. A part of him wishing he could let this moment last forever, knowing full well he could not. 

“Can’t we stay just a little longer?” Zeb begged. “Please dad?”

“I’m sorry kit,” Efrem said, “But you know you can’t stay longer.”

“I know…” Zeb dejectedly mumbled. “Can Alex come over again sometime?”

“I would love to have him over again if his parents are okay with it,” Efrem said. 

“I hope I can,” Alex hopefully mumbled.

“I can talk to your parents kit,” Efrem assured. 

“Really!” Alex exclaimed. 

“Sure,” Efrem assured. “Now come on, I should get you back as quickly as possible.”

“Okay,” Alex dejectedly mumbled. Grinning, Efrerm leaned down to scoop up Alex and Zeb, earning excited laughter from both of them.

“Dad!” Zeb exclaimed, laughing as he clung onto Efrem.

“What?” Efrem asked with a laugh as he continued walking, noting how Alex melted in his arms, cuddling closer to him as if craving physical affection. As painful as it was, the realization was not as surprising as it should be. Alex’s parents probably never hugged him, or held him, or comforted him after a nightmare. There was no love in the Kallus family, so he would just have to love Alex for them. Efrem glanced over at Alex to find he seemed to have fallen asleep, loosely holding onto him. 

“Dad?” Zeb softly asked, realizing his friend was asleep and trying not to wake him.

“Yea?”

“Did you mean what you said about talking to Alex’s parents?” Zeb asked.

“Course I did,” Efrem assured. “I’d do anything for you kit.”

“You’re the best dad,” Zeb said, nuzzling against him with a happy purr. 

“I try,” Efrem said. After that, they traveled in silence, enjoying the gentle melody of the forest as they continued making their way back to the palace, Efrem tightening his grip around Zeb as the castle became visible.

“….I wish I could be with you all the time.” Zeb admitted.

“Me too kit,” Efrem admitted as a pair of guards raced out to meet them. 

“Is the kid still with you?” One of the guards Ora asked. 

“Yes why?”

“His parents are about to leave!” Ora cried. 

“Karabast-“ Efrem cursed before taking off through the castle. A part of him would never forgive himself if Alex’s parents left without him, another would be furious at his parents for not noticing their child was not with them before leaving again. Efrem was relieved when he found the senators ship was still on the ground, the Kallus’s standing on the ramp, saying goodbye.

“Senator!” Efrem exclaimed before they could make their way up the ramp. 

“Captain wha-“ the Queen cried, fury etched across her face. 

“I apologize for this your highness, I just didn’t want the senator and her husband to leave without their son,” Efrem hurriedly exclaimed. 

“Alexsandr Kallus!” Alex’s mother cried, startling him awake.

“Mom….?”

“Why did you run off-“

“He didn’t run off!” Zeb cried. “We left to go play-“

“You did not have permission to leave,” The queen scolded. 

“I wanted to introduce my new friend to my dad,” Zeb said. 

“You did not have our permission to leave either,” Alex’s mother snapped. 

“I’m sorry mom….” Alex mumbled. “I was just happy to have made a friend….”

“He’s your friend now?” Alex’s mother asked. 

“Yea, he is!” Alex said. “Can I visit him again?”

“I don’-“ Alex’s father began but before he could finish Efrem interrupted, 

“I would be more than happy to have the boys visit again, Zeb doesn’t get to spend much time with kids his age.”

“I don’t-“

“I think that is a wonderful idea,” Alex’s mother surprisingly said. “If the queen is alright with it.”

”I….I suppose it would be fine, but only on your visiting days-“

“That’s fine with me,” Eftem assured before Zeb could worry about it too much. He knew she was only doing this to try and stop them from seeing each other, but Efrem was willing to sacrifice some time with his son if it meant him having a friend.

“Thanks dad!” Zeb said, hugging his legs before running over to Alex and hugged him saying, 

“See you later!”

“See you!” Alex mumbled, clinging on as if he never wanted to let go before reluctantly releasing him, turning and following his parents onto their ship, sadly looking back at Zeb as the ramp closed behind him. It was painful for Efrem to watch, but he knew they’d see each other again, that he would ensure.

\-------

It had only been a couple of hours since his new friend Alex left Lasan, but Zeb already missed him. He couldn’t help but fear he would never be able to see his new friend again, that somehow his aunt would find a way to ensure Alex could never visit him again and he would lose the one friend he managed to make.

“There you are Garazeb,” Zeb’s Uncle Uziel said as he slowly walked over, leaning heavily against his cane as he did so. 

“Hey Uncle Uziel!” Zeb eagerly greeted, Unlike his aunt, his uncle was much more understanding of him. He would often try and help Zeb slip out to visit his dad without his aunt knowing. 

“What’s wrong kit?” Uncle Uziel gently asked. “And don’t lie to me.”

“I miss my friend,” Zeb admitted. 

“Your friend?” Uncle Uziel asked. 

“Alex.”

“Oh, the senators son….” He mumbled, staring at the wall in contemplation.

“Yea,” Zeb mumbled, “I don’t know when I’ll see him again, o-or even if I’ll see him again!” 

“I see….” Uncle Uziel mumbled. “Well that’s no good. I’ll just have to fix that.”

“What can you do about it?” Zeb asked. 

“You’ll see kit,” Uncle Uziel assured, petting the top of Zeb’s head. 

\----------

In the weeks following Alex’s visit to Lasan, he asked every night when he could go back to Lasan to see his friend. Every night though the only reply he would get is a dismissive promise of “soon”. When Alex pressed for when soon would be they would tell him to go to his room and be quiet. It was painfully frustrating, but there was little he could do about it except hope his mother would keep her word. 

Sighing heavily, Alex drowned out his parent talking, staring lifelessly at his datapad when it suddenly blinked to life with a message [Incoming Message: Source: Frequency 4.23.887] Zeb? Alex wondered as he clicked [Accept]. 

[Alex. K] Zeb?

[4.23.887] Hey Alex!

[Alex. K] How did you find this?

[4.23.887] My uncle found it for me! He wanted me to have a way to keep in touch with you when you couldn’t visit.

[Alex. K] I’m glad, I missed you and I have no idea when my parents will let me visit again…

[4.23.887] Dad said that might be the case, Senators are really busy.

[Alex. K] That’s what they keep telling me but they’re free enough to be going to a dinner party tonight.

[4.23.887] Dinner parties are so boring, I don’t know why anyone wants to go to them.

[Alex. K] My parents say it’s for networking whatever that means.

[4.23.887] My aunt is the opposite, she hates dealing with people outside of Lasat people.

[Alex. K] That doesn’t seem too good either, what if you guys need help in the future?

[4.23.887] According to my aunt we never will because Lasan only worries about Lasan and it’s a weakness to ask for outside help.

[Alex. K] There’s nothing wrong with needing help.

[4.23.887] My dad says the same thing.

“Alexsandr, what are you doing?” His mother sternly asked. For a moment, he considered lying, but he knew his mother would be furious if she ever found out he lied. 

“I’m sending messages to my friend Zeb,” Alex admitted, 

“The Lasat prince?” His father asked.

“Yes.”

“I still don’t like you talking to such a beast.”

“I don’t either but maybe this friendship can finally get Lasan to join the Republic,” His mother said.

[4.23.887] Alex you their?

[Alex. K] My parents are talking about you. 

[4.23.887] Nothing new there.

“Does that mean I can visit him soon?” Alex eagerly asked. 

“We’ll see.”

\-------

One year Later

Deep down, Zeb knew it was a bad idea to leave the castle, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. His Uncle, king of Lasan, had passed away earlier that morning. He knew his uncle had been sick, but the doctors kept assuring him he would have more time still, that he was doing just fine. Until he wasn’t. 

His Uncle Uziel was gone. He had always been so much kinder and more sympathetic to Zeb then his aunt ever was. He would even sometimes help Zeb slip out unnoticed to see his dad. He treated Zeb as family should treat family. He cared about family, unlike his aunt who was only concerned with politics. Something Alex knew all too much about….Zeb sighed as he collapsed on the ground, tightly wrapping his arms around his knees. He wished Alex was here, he would understand everything he was going through…

“Can I sit with you?” A voice tentatively asked. Zeb’s head snapped up to see Alex standing in front of him, nervously rubbing his arm with his other hand. 

“You’re here,” Zeb said, weakly smiling at him as he patted the ground beside him.

“When we heard the news I begged my parents to let me see you and they agreed,” Alex said as he sat down next to him. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Zeb mumbled. “…can I hug you?” Smiling softly at him, Alex scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, Zeb gratefully melting in his arms, nuzzling into his chest, involuntarily letting out a soft purr. 

“…did you purr?”

“…yes,” Zeb mumbled, embarrassed as he tried to pull away. Alex however tightened his grip around him and said, 

“Sorry that sounded mean….is that common with Lasat?”

“Y-yea,” Zeb said, grateful for the momentary distraction. “I-is it weird?”

“Humans can’t do that,” Alex admitted, “But it’s not weird to me, it reminds me of loth-cats.”

“Really?”

“Yea,” Alex assured, absentmindedly stroking the fur behind Zeb’s ear, earning another soft, content purr. Zeb wanted to stay in Alex’s arms and forget all the pain he was feeling, but he also knew bottling it up wouldn’t help in the long run, and if he was going to talk to anyone about it, he wanted it to be Alex. 

“I wish my aunt understood how I was feeling,” Zeb mumbled, “When we got the news she said- she said we had to move on, we’re royalty the people need us to be strong but I-I don’t want to be strong right now.”

“You don’t have to with me.” Alex assured. Zeb weakly nodded his head, nuzzling into Alex’s chest, grateful Alex was here. 

“Zeb? Zeb where are you kit? It’s dad!” Zeb father distantly called out.

“Dad?” Zeb choked out, his voice too weak to be heard by his father. 

“Mr. Orrelios?” Alex called out, louder this time, seemingly catching his attention. 

“Alex?” Zeb’s father called out. 

“I’m with Zeb!” Alex called out. 

“Stay where you are I’m coming!” Efrem called out. Alex could hear him crashing through the forest getting closer and closer to the pair before he emerged in the clearing they were hiding in. “Hey kit.” Efrem gently said, kneeling on the ground in front of them, sniffling, Zeb threw himself at his father, burying his face in his chest. Efrem wrapped his arms around Zeb in a bone crushing hug, a warm comforting purr coming from him that never failed to make Zeb melt in his arms. 

“How’d you find him?” Efrem softly asked Alex.

“O-one of the guardswoman- she said Zeb came here a lot…” Alex nervously replied. Zeb felt his dad, shift his arms to pat the top of Alex’s head saying, 

“I’m glad you came.”

“Thanks,” Alex mumbled. 

“Me too,” Zeb mumbled, smiling sheepishly at Alex.

“Come on, I talked to your aunt, she said you could stay with me for a few days,” Efrem said. 

“Really?” Zeb hopefully said. Most of his visits where limited to a day or two at best. And she always had a strict return time for him.

“Yea,” Zeb’s dad said. “Things are….she understands you need some time away from the castle.”

“Thanks dad,” Zeb mumbled, nuzzling into the embrace. 

“Anything for you kit. And I can contact your parents too kit if you’d like.” Efrem added.

“If you wouldn’t mind…” Alex hopefully said. 

“Zeb and I would love it,” Zeb’s father assured, ruffling his hair. “Come on, let’s get you both home and I can get you both fed.” 

“Thanks Mr. Orrelios-“

“Hey, hey now none of that please,” Zeb’s dad playfully scolded. “You can call my Uncle Efrem if you’re comfortable-“

“Thanks Uncle Efrem,” Alex said. “I wish I could stay all the time…”

“Me too kit,” Efrem assured. “But you need your parents.”

“I know….” Alex sighed. 

“But you can always visit okay?” Efrem assured. “As far as I’m concerned, your family.”

\------

Seven years later

Long stretches of time between seeing Alex were not uncommon, but nearly six months had passed since Alex’s last visit and it was starting to worry Zeb, especially since they hadn’t even messaged in over a week. It made the days pass agonizingly slowly having to wait to hear from Alex, a part of him knowing he wouldn’t hear from him. He so desperately wanted to see his friend he was prepared to steal a shuttle and fly to Coruscant just for the chance to see him. He knew it was stupid but not hearing from him hurt more then he could properly explain. He missed him, Alex was one of the few people he could talk to and just be himself. He made him laugh when no one else could. He reminded him that he wasn’t just a prince but a kid. 

More and more he’d been thinking about Alex, and how though he was his best friend, there was something else there, something that made him want to take his hands and kiss him breathless. But how could he? He didn’t know if he felt the same, they hadn’t even seen each other in months! What if he was just imagining things? What if-

“Zeb you okay kit?” His father gently asked, startling Zeb from his thoughts, making him realize he’d been staring at the same patch of flowers for several minutes now instead of helping his dad gardening.

“I haven’t heard from Alex in over a week and it’s really unlike him….” Zeb mumbled. 

“Well a lot of things are changing for the core worlds, you know that,” his father gently reminded him. The end of the Clone wars and the rise of the Empire. Deep down he knew it made sense Alex would be unable to travel due to all the changes- but it didn’t make the separation any easier. Or the lack of messages…

“I know I just….what if he just doesn’t want to visit anymore-“

“I could never,” Alex said, Zeb jumping to his feet in shock. “Hey um….long time no see?” Alex added, sheepishly waving before dropping his hand in shame. “I’m really sory-“

“You’re here!” Zeb cheered, throwing his arms around Alex in a bone crushing hug, a purr escaping him as he nuzzled his face into Alex’s neck. He’d missed him so much.

“I-I’m sorry I came unannounced-“ Alex began.

“It’s fine,” Efrem assured, standing up. “It’s been too long since you two saw each other.”

“You sure dad?” Zeb asked. 

“You two have fun,” Efrem assured. 

“Take him down to the lake, it’ll be nice and quiet and no sudden interruptions,” Efrem added with a wink.

‘Uh thanks dad see you-“ Zeb frantically said, grabbing Alex’s arm and dragging him off, ears flattening in embarrassment. 

“I’ve missed your dad,” Alex said with a laugh. “Not as much as you of course.”

“Really?” Zeb asked. 

“Of course, you both have been my rock for a long time….” Alex mumbled, cheeks turning bright red as he ducked his head. 

“I-I’m glad,” Zeb admitted as they reached the lake. “I’m really glad you visited.” He added, hand slipping down to take his hand, looking Alex in the eye.

“Me too,” Alex admitted, not breaking eye contact as he squeezed his hand back. “Zeb….there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you…” he continued, tentatively stepping closer to Zeb.

“Yes?” Zeb breathed, closing the gap between their bodies, heart hammering so hard in his chest it almost hurt but he could care less. He 

“You uh- you mean a lot to be Zeb, and no matter how far apart we are you’re always on my mind. I think about you ever day and count down the seconds until I’m with you again…I-I didn’t quite understand my feeling for you until recently and…it’s why I didn’t message you I just- I didn’t know how to tell you and then I realized this is something I needed to say in person a-“ Without thinking, Zeb moved his face mere centimeters from Alex’s and whispered, 

“I really want to kiss you…c-can I?”

“Yes,” Alex breathed, relief flooding his voice. It was all Zeb needed to hear before he leaned down to kiss him. It was messy and a little awkward, but as he tried to pull away, embarrassed, Alex pulled him in for another kiss and Zeb found he didn’t care how awkward it was. 

Four Years Later

Four years. four years since Zeb saw Alex in person. Though they messaged each other almost every day, it wasn’t the same. He wanted to show Alex the new flowers he and his father planted, and the lake he found in the forest nearby the castle. But most importantly he just wanted to see him. To hold him in his arms and kiss him senseless, to simple have him there by his side. Alex had warned him with the Academy he wouldn’t be able to visit much, but he had thought Alex would be able to at least visit. 

“Zeb!” Arnan said, jogging up. “Come with me quick!” 

“But I was going to see my dad!” Zeb exclaimed. It had been weeks since he’d seen his dad.

“Trust me your dad won’t mind!”

“Bu-“

“A ship from Coruscant is landing,” was all Arnan had to say before Zeb ran to the hanger, not caring how undignified and unprincely he looked. Alex. It had to be him, no one from any planet, much less Coruscant, would come to Lasan. So much had changed….he could only hope Alex still wanted to be his….what was the right word for them? They kissed the last time they saw each other and they flirted some when messaging but it wasn’t the same as going on dates regularly. As he raced onto the hanger though, all thoughts melted away when he saw Alex.

He’d changed in the past two years, in a very good way. He’d grown several inches and was now only slightly shorter then Zeb and much taller than the average human height. He’d also put on quite a bit of muscle, and grew sideburns, very attractive one’s at that. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of Alex as he eagerly waved and ran over to him, calling out his name. 

“Zeb! I’m so glad you’re here I-…Zeb?” Alex worriedly asked when Zeb didn’t respond, or blink. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Alex, he looked amazing- “Is everything alright?”

“Y-yes um you look-I uh wow- Zeb stammered out. 

“Oh um yea I uh finally had a growth spurt,” Alex admitted with a sheepish laugh. 

“And the uh-“ Zeb awkwardly started to say, weakly gesturing to his face. 

“Oh um yea,” Alex awkwardly said, “Do you like them?”

“T-they’re um- they’re sexy- I didn’t mean that! I mean I meant they look good not that you’re not sexy I mean-“ Zeb was rambling and making things far worse, but he found he couldn’t get himself to stop talking. 

“Thanks Zeb,” Alex thankfully interrupted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “You look good yourself.”

“Thanks,” Zeb said with a small grin. 

“I’m so sorry I haven’t visited in awhile,” Alex mumbled, unable to look Zeb in the eye. “Ever since the Empire took over the academy I have been swamped….”

“It’s okay I promise!” Zeb assured. “Trust me I know how things get…how do you feel about the Empire….?

“I don’t trust them,” Alex admitted, frowning. “They hate all non-human species and have some….worrisome practices.”

“Yea I have to agree,” Zeb sighed. “So why do you stay in the academy if you don’t trust them?”

“If I dropped out it would draw the ire of not only my parents but the Empire,” Alex sighed. 

“I- uh we can protect you!” Zeb exclaimed, taking Alex’s hands in his own. “You could live on Lasan with me a-and never deal with the Empire again!”

“I couldn’t do that Zeb-“

“Why not?”

“My parents would think you kidnapped me-“

“Who cares what your parents think?” Zeb asked. “I-I- I can’t lose you.” Despite his height, Alex still had to stand on his toes to kiss Zeb’s cheek before whispering,

“I don’t want to lose you either, that’s why I have to do this. I-I cannot risk making the Empire angrier with Lasan then they already are.”

“Why do you have to be so noble?” Zeb bitterly asked. “Do you….do you not want to stay with me?”

“Of course I do Zeb I l-you mean everything to me,” Alex assured. “Maybe….maybe once I graduate I can walk away more easily a-and….and stay here if you’d-“ Before Alex could finish, Zeb eagerly pulled him into a passion filled kiss, Alex melting against him, a passion filled moan of pleasure escaping his lips. Maker he’d missed this. 

“I would not have it any other way,” Zeb gasped when they broke for air. 

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Alex whispered before pulling him into another passion filled kiss. 

“You two certainly didn’t wait long,” Zeb’s father teasingly said, startling the two apart. 

“Uh…ehem sorry dad,” Zeb sheepishly said, moving to face his dad, keeping an arm looped around Alex’s waist. 

“My apologies Me. Orrelios,” Alex said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, keeping the other around Zeb’s waist. 

“I’m just teasing you,” Efrem said with a laugh. “And no more of that Mr. Orrelios we’re both clearly adults now you can call me Efrem!”

“Uh alright,” Alex uncertainly agreed.

“Good. Now let me look at you though! You’ve gone and turned into a man on me!”

“Dad!”

“What?” He innocently asked. 

“Please stop.”

“Alright, alright,” Efrem said with a laugh. “Always good to see you kiddo, stop by my place when Zeb’s through with you-“

“Dad!” Zeb cried, mortified and grateful he couldn’t blush, unlike Alex who was now bright red, ducking his head in embarrassment. 

“I’m going I’m going!” Efrem assured with another wink before leaving them. 

“I am so sorry,” Zeb groaned once he was gone. 

“It’s okay,” Alex assured. “I uh-it’s fine.”

“Do you want to go somewhere more private?” Zeb asked. 

“Did you have somewhere in mind?” Alex slowly asked in a tone that excited him more than it should. 

“U-uh n-y-y-…Maybe?” Zeb stammered, heart hammering in his chest. 

“Maybe?” He teasingly asked. 

“Yes, I do,” Zeb corrected, mentally scolding himself for getting so distracted by….everything. “A lake I found it’s quiet and no one really knows about it-“

“A different lake I’m guessing?”

“Yea this one’s closer to the castle,” Zeb said. “Come on follow me.”

“Lead the way,” Alex said, tentatively brushing his fingers against Zeb’s before starting to pull away, only for Zeb to gently take his hand in his own and squeeze it, smiling softly at him. The pair walked in silence though the castle for several minutes, neither quite sure what to say now that they were face to face. Why where conversations so much easier over text?

“I’ve missed you,” Alex finally said as they continued through the castle.

“Me too,” Zeb assured. 

“I can’t even tell people I miss you….” Alex mumbled, shoulders slumping.

“What do you mean?” Zeb asked, ears flattening against his head. 

“Part of the reason it took so long to get here is because the Empire thinks Lasan might be working with a rebellion,” Alex explained. “Any communications with Lasan are….frowned upon.” 

“So us continuing to remain independent makes us Rebels?” Zeb snapped. 

“According to the empire,” Alex spat out. “It’s sick and wrong and I hate it.”

“So why stay?” Zeb asked. 

“What?” Alex asked. 

“Why stay with the Empire?” Zeb explained. “You obviously hate it there, you could leave a-and stay here on Lasan-“ with me. The final words got caught in Zeb’s throat, but Alex smiled and whispered, 

“I’m not sure your aunt would like that,” Alex slowly said.

“I don’t care what she does or does not want I just want you-“ Zeb said, cutting himself off when he realized what he was saying.

“How do you want me?” Alex stopping, tightly gripping Zeb’s hand forcing him to stop. Zeb reluctantly turned to face Alex, shocked to find desire in his eyes. 

“However you’d let me,” Zeb breathed. 

“Good,” Alex breathed before pulling him into a passionate kiss, that Zeb eagerly reciprocated, pressing him against the wall, moaning in pleasure as Alex eagerly dug in fingers into his back as he pulled him closer.

“Get a room,” A passing guard teasingly said. Ordinarily Zeb would know exactly who was the one talking, but at the moment Zeb didn’t care. 

“I like the sound of that.” Alex purred in Zeb’s ear. 

“Me too,” Zeb agreed, eagerly taking Alex back to his room.

\-----

For the first time since the Empire took over, Alex had no desire to get up when the early sunlight filtered through the window. Zeb was still peacefully sleeping still, arms loosely wrapped around Alex, nuzzling against his naked back. It was nice. Warm. Safe. Loved. 

Zeb had been wonderful throughout the night. Gentle, loving, concerned, and oh so careful with him. Like he was afraid of hurting Alex. He supposed Zeb could easily hurt him without meaning too. He was sore but not hurt, though he was never worried. He knew Zeb loved him too much to hurt him. From behind him, Alex felt Zeb shifting against him before softly pressing a kiss against his cheek. 

“Morning,” He hoarsely grumbled, voice still heavy with sleep. 

“Morning,” Alex breathed, awkwardly rolling over to face Zeb, pecking his lips, who lazily kissed him back.

“I love you,” Zeb breathed when they pulled apart. 

“I love you too,” Alex whispered back to him, pecking him on the lips again. 

“Last night was fun,” Zeb said when they pulled apart. 

“Just fun?” Alex teasingly asked. 

“Very fun?” Zeb corrected as he rolled over back on top of Alex. Right where he should be as far as Alex was concerned. 

“Better,” Alex said. 

“Well maybe we need some more practice…”

“I wouldn’t complain-“ Alex began as Zeb leaned down to kiss him again as the door flew open and the queen marched in saying, 

“Garazeb you’re la- what is the meaning of this!” Zeb scrambled to grab a nearby blanket to cover himself and Alex who shrunk back into the mattress, Zeb trying to use his body to block him.

“What are you doing here!” Zeb cried. 

“You are late a-and now I see why!” The queen shrieked. “H-how could you with h-him!”

“Can we do this after we’re decent?” Zeb asked. 

“There is not a shred of decency in either of you!” She snapped before storming out of the room. 

“This is not good,” Zeb groaned, glancing back at Alex who couldn’t bring himself to look up at Zeb from shame. This was very bad. 

\----

Waiting was pure torture. Especially when one was waiting for a bomb to drop, and Alex knew a bomb would drop. The mere son of a senator being caught by the queen in bed with the sole heir to the throne? This would not end well. 

“Breathe,” Efrem gently said.

“Aren’t you angry as well?” Alex nervously said, staring at the door to the throne room where Zeb and the queen where most likely arguing while Alex was forced to sit outside waiting with two guards along with Zeb’s father. 

“I’ve known for a long time how Zeb felt about you,” Efrem gently replied. “As long as Zeb is happy, how can I be anything but happy? He’s my son, all I’ve ever wanted for him was to find someone who makes him as happy as you do.”

“Thanks,” Alex said, smiling weakly at him. 

“Of course kit,” Efrem said, gently laying a hand on his shoulder. It was good knowing he had Efrem’s support, but he wished he knew what the queen was saying to Zeb right then.

\----

“This is an absolute disgrace!” The queen shrieked. Zeb had long since stopped trying to speak up for himself and Alex. She refused to listen and othing he ever said would make her less angry at him. “How could you do this? What woman would ever choose you for a mate now? You’re practically chosen Alexsandr as your-“

“I have,” Zeb firmly said. 

“What?” The queen icily asked. 

“I’m going to ask Alex to marry me,” Zeb informed her. 

“He’s a human! A male human! He cannot bear children o-“

“I don’t care,” Zeb snapped, “I love him.”

“Humans are lucky to live a hundred dust seasons, Lasat live for nearly 400. What will you do when he inevitably passes on long before you!”

“I don’t know,” Zeb admitted. “And I honestly don’t care. I’m not interested in planning on life after that, I want to focus on right here and right now. I want to cherish every moment I have with the man I love.”

“How could you be so selfish?” The queen hissed. “You need to find a wife who will give the kingdom heirs!” 

“I love Alex,” Zeb said, “I will never love or marry anyone else!”

“Garazeb be reasonable!” The queen practically begged. “We need heirs!”

“You need heirs,” Zeb corrected. 

“Lasan needs heirs!”

“I will not marry someone I do not love,” Zeb firmly said. 

“For the good of Lasan you will.”

“You can’t force me!”

“I am your queen!”

“And I’m your nephew!” Zeb cried, “Does that mean nothing to you?”

“I am your queen first-“

“You’ve never acted as my aunt,” Zeb cried. “Ever, you are always my queen- you demand I be your prince yet refuse to acknowledge that I am your nephew!”

“I do-“

“If you did and you actually loved me you would support me! You would be happy I found someone I love.”

The queen silently eyed Zeb for several agonizing minutes, clearly coming up with something Zeb couldn’t quiet figure out. Finally after several minutes of silent agony, she slowly said, “It seems this human means a great deal to you.”

“He does,” Zeb said. “I would give up everything for him.”

“And does he feel the same?” 

“He loves me,” Zeb replied. 

“You or the crown?”

“Me.”

“How do you know?”

“For years he’s been my best friend. Before either of us even knew- he cared about me before we became….before….” Zeb awkwardly trailed off, unsure of what exactly to call themselves. 

“Before you slept with him.”

“Before we fell in love,” Zeb corrected. Boyfriends or lover, the name they tacked on their relationship didn’t matter, what nattered was the love they felt for one another. He would fight for Alex, even if it meant going against his a-the queen. She was no longer his aunt as far as he was concerned. Just a cruel ruthless queen who refused to see the love between two people. 

“It seems we are at an impasse,” the queen said. “I have a proposition that you should find agreeable.”

“…I’m listening,” Zeb reluctantly said, mentally preparing for the worst. 

“We will find you a suitable bride-“

“I will not marry anyone but Alex,” Zeb snapped. 

“You’re assuming he would even have you.”

“You’re assuming he won’t.”

“Just let me finish,” The queen snapped. “We will find a bride for you to marry to produce heirs who will accept Alexsandr as your lover-“

“No,” Zeb firmly said. “I won’t put Alex in that position and I refuse to marry someone just to cheat on them-“

“It’s hardly cheating if she knows about it-“

“Yes it is,” Zeb firmly said. “I wouldn’t even love her.”

“You could learn to-“

“You don’t learn to love someone,” Zeb said, shaking his head. 

“I suppose I can be flexible,” The queen said. “If Alexsandr agrees to marry you, you may marry him if you find a woman-“

“No,” Zeb snapped. “I will not do that to Alex. If he will have me, it will be him and only him. No side woman for producing heirs, no backup woman waiting for Alex to die- nothing. I will ask Alex to marry me, no strings attached.”

“Be reasonable-“

“I’ve given up everything for the kingdom- living with my dad, having a normal childhood, friends, my dreams- love though is something I refuse to give up,” Zeb declared. And he meant it. “I will walk away from the throne and Lasan if you try and stop me.” Rage unlike anything before flashes through her eyes, but then an eerie calm settle over her that scared him more than her rage. 

“Very well. I have a new proposition for you.” The queen said. “Since you seem so sure Alex will accept your proposal, you may propose to him at the coronation ball in one week. If he accepts you will have my blessing the marry him no strings attached. If however he rejects you, you will marry whomever I choose for you.”

“And what if I think one week is too soon to propose?” Zeb asked. 

“This is my final offer,” The queen snapped. “Take it or their will be consequences that you cannot even begin to fathom.” 

“Is that a threat?” Zeb growled, certain the queen meant Alex. If she even thought about hurting him-

“No, a warning,” The queen said. “Do we have a deal?”

Zeb wearily eyed her, reeling. How could she put a timeline on love? He couldn’t just propose after having only spent time in person since dating twice!...on the other hand, Alex knew him unlike any other person in the galaxy. Intimately knew his deepest desires and dreams. Knew every passion and hobby he’d ever had or even dabbled in. Knew how to make him laugh when he was down, was fiercely passionate and loyal, loved Lasan like a second home. They hadn’t spent much time in person, but that wasn’t really the important part was it?

“Alright fine. I accept,” Zeb said. 

“Good,” The queen said. “Now you will go to the ruling council and explain why you are late and our proposition and I will escort Alex back to his ship-“

“I need to tell him about the ball-“

“I will,” The queen assured. 

“How do I know you will,” Zeb asked. 

“I am still your aunt, I will not lie to him or misinform him about the ball or keep him from coming if he so desires,” The queen promised. “I swear this by the Ashla.” Though Zeb was still weary, he knew the queen would stay true to her word if she was invoking the Ashla, that was not something anyone on Lasan, especially the queen, did lightly. 

“…fine but why can’t I see Alex off the planet-“

“I wish to have a private word with him,” The queen said. 

“If you plan to threaten him-“

“No threats,” the queen assured. 

“If he’s not at the ball-“

“I will not stop him,” The queen firmly repeated. Zeb didn’t like this one bit, but he also knew at this point there would be no changing the queens mind. 

“Alright fine,” Zeb said. “Just….tell him I’m sorry and that I love him.”

The queen grimaced but nodded, “Fine. Now go.” Zeb stiffly nodded before turning on his heel and walking out, a painful knot in his stomach. 

\---

After what felt like nearly an eternity, the queen walked out of the throne room without Zeb, sending Alex’s heart racing as he jumped to his feet and in a panic asked, 

“Where’s Zeb?”

“He’s begging forgiveness from the ruling council for missing such an important meeting this morning,” The queen stiffly said. “Garazeb asked me to tell you he’s sorry and to send his love.” 

“I see,” Alex wearily said. 

“For now though, I will be escorting you back to your ship so you may return home-“

“Your highness-“ Efrem protested. 

“So Garazeb can focus on preparing for the coronation ball next week.” The queen finished without missing a beat. 

“Coronation ball?” Alex asked. The queen gestured for Alex to follow her as she started walking, which Alex warily did. 

“Garazeb will be officially named the crowned prince of Lasan,” The queen explained. “The ball is often used as well to choose a mate.”

“I see,” Alex said, throat tightening. 

“Per Garazeb’s request you are invited to attend this ball,” the queen added, to Alex’s shock. Why would she invite him after being caught sleeping with Zeb? 

“And….you’re okay with…well everything?” Alex tentatively asked. 

The queen glanced back at Efrem and the guards trailing behind them and said, “Leave us.”

“I’m not sure-“ Efrem began, but clearly the queens patience was running thin as she snapped, 

“I wish to speak privately, if you must follow do so at a distance.” Efrem stiffly nodded, but held back allowing Alex and the queen to gain some distance. “I do not approve of your romance whatsoever. It is nothing but a distraction and put’s the kingdom at risk.”

“How is the kingdom at risk-“

“Because of his infatuation with you, he will not even consider any other woman who could produce heirs for the kingdom,” The queen snapped. “Humans only live for maybe a hundred dust seasons while Lasat live over four hundred. You romance is doomed.”

“Zeb will outlive me but that doesn’t make it doomed-“

“What will happen to Zeb after you die?” The queen asked. “He will mourn you and will never move on and do what needs to be done for the kingdom.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Alex slowly asked, struggling to figure out why the queen was telling him all of this.

“At the ball next week, Garazeb is going to propose to you,” The queen said, Alex stumbling slightly as the meaning of the words hit him. 

“P-propose!” Alex cried. “H-how do you- why are you-“

“You need to think long and hard about your answer to the question,” The queen sternly said. “And understand the consequences of your choice.”

“Consequences-?”

“If you accept the proposal, you will be ensuring Lasan never has an heir to the throne,” The queen said, stopping suddenly and turning to face him. “Garazeb refuses to consider any other options if you are in the picture.”

“I-I love him-“

“I’m not saying you don’t or that he doesn’t,” The queen said. “But Garazeb is not thinking objectively, so you have to.” And with that, the queen left Alex in front of his ship, mind reeling as he tried to process all he’d been told.

\-----

Though it took three hours to return to Coruscant from Lasan, Alex’s mind was still reeling when he arrived. Ordinarily he would talk to Zeb about big news, but he couldn’t talk to Zeb because Zeb couldn’t know his aunt told him about all of this, if he told Zeb, Zeb would be furious with his aunt and that was the last thing he wanted. Keeping everything bottled up inside was slowly but surely consuming him, leaving him terrifyingly breathless. He loved Zeb, so much it physically hurt. But the queen raised equally terrifying points, what would happen to Zeb after he inevitably died long before he ever would? Could or would Zeb move on and find someone else? 300 years alone without anyone was a terrifying prospect. Especially without a child to fill the hole like Efrem had. He had Zeb, but who would Zeb have? And of course he couldn’t exactly have children to continue the family legacy, something that under normal circumstances would not bother Alex in the least, but given who Zeb was, what would that mean for Lasan? Did they have a way to find someone to lead if their current ruler never had children?

In the end though could he walk away from Zeb? Would Zeb let him walk away? Zeb knew him better than anyone, even his own parents. He would see right through any pathetic explanation Alex could come up with, take his hands in his and tell him over and over again how much he loved him and how all of that didn’t matter and-

A heavy sigh escaped Alex’s lips as he forcibly shoved the pleasant image out of his mind. He couldn’t think about Zeb, not when he was trying to find a way to say no to him. But did he really have to say no? But how could he say yes? Wouldn’t it be wrong to put his own wants and desires before the needs of an entire planet? Should he have to think about an entire planet? Didn’t he deserve happiness? Didn’t Zeb? He knew he would never be able to love someone like he loved Zeb. No one in the galaxy would ever understand him like Zeb did. No one made him feel safe and secure like Zeb did when he wrapped his arms around him. No one could bring a smile to his face with a one word message like Zeb could. No one ever had or ever would. 

What should he do? Doom himself to a life of loneliness and misery to secure the future of a planet? Or give in, be selfish and make himself a storybook ending? He just didn’t know. He knew he would never love anyone like he loved Zeb. If he walked away from Zeb he would be alone, but if he married Zeb-

“Ensign Kallus, you look troubled,” Colonel Yularen almost kindly said, startling Alex out of his thoughts. Apparently he’d wandered back to the academy while lost in thought. 

“My apologies Colonel,” Alex said, snapping into attention. There was no way Yularen would ever understand.

“Don’t apologize,” Yularen said, “What’s troubling you?”

“It’s a bit of a complicated situation,” Alex reluctantly admitted, 

“How so?”

“…..there’s someone that I care about but their family….they don’t like me.”

“Care about?” Yularen asked with a small smirk on his face. “Romantically perhaps?” 

“I-I don’t know what-“ Alex stammered, face burning with embarrassment.

“Kallus, don’t let these feelings distract you,” Yularen said. “You’re a bright student with an even brighter future. Romance will only hurt your future.”

“So I should forget about them?” Alex slowly asked. 

“Trust your gut,” Yularen said. “You’re bright, I know you’ll make the right decision.”

“Thank you for your advice,” Alex said, swallowing thickly as he made up his mind. 

“Of course Ensign,” Yularen assured.

\--------------------

The night of the ball could not come faster for Zeb, all he can think about was Alex, seeing him again, holding him again, proposing to him…Thinking about proposing to the man who had been his best friend since childhood, and more recently his lover was more terrifying then anything he’d ever done before. What if he didn’t even show up? What if he said no? No, he wouldn’t say no….right? 

Zeb knew he was overthinking it and was making himself panic, but he found he couldn’t calm himself down. After tonight, his life would never be the same. He would either be engaged to the man he loved, or he would be engaged to some noble his aunt chose for him who would then expect him to make heirs. Would he ever be happy if Alex said no?

He knew worrying about it wouldn’t change anything, but it was hard not to as he got himself ready. To celebrate the occasion, Chava had new garments made for him, a long sleeved dress tunic, with gold sleeve cuffs and buttons with flowers carved into them. 

Still despite all of his fears, he knew he couldn’t do anything about it until Alex arrived. So Zeb focused on preparing himself before making his way to the ballroom. When he arrived, his aunt was already there waiting, seated at the throne decorated in flowers. Beside her throne, his Uncle’s throne sat empty and undecorated as it always had been after he died. Someday the throne would be used again, for a brief moment Zeb could almost picture Alex sitting there, dressed in traditional Lasan attire-

“Garazeb, you’re late,” The queen chided. 

“I’m not late if none of the guests are here yet,” Zeb emotionlessly said, the image fading from his mind. 

“Timeliness is the politeness of royalty,” The queen chided. “You know that.”

“Right,” Zeb sighed, taking his place beside the queen. “Let’s just get this over with.” To his surprise, instead of chiding him again, she turned to one of the guards and said, 

“Open the gates.”

\------

No matter how many balls Zeb was forced to sit through, he still continued to be amazed at how boring they were. Zeb was only half paying attention to Lady Ariana as she politely spoke to him about….something. He had long since stopped paying attention to everything going on around him. Why hadn’t Alex come yet? The ball had started hours ago, yet he’d seen no sign of him. Had his aunt lied and kept him from coming? Had Alex somehow heard he was planning to propose and freaked out and decided not to come? A thousand what if’s flashed through his mind, each new one worse than the last. How could he focus on any of his aunts suitors when all he could think of was Alex? Was it even right to speak to them when he fully intended to propose to Alex….if he even came. 

As much as he tried to assure himself Alex would come, most everyone had arrived and it was getting late….

“You’re distracted,” Zeb’s aunt whispered when Lady Ariana stepped away. “You’re thinking about him aren’t you?”

“Everything’s going to change for me tonight,” Zeb responded. “No matter what happens, nothing will be the same. How can I not be a little distracted?” For what Zeb was fairly certain he first time in his life, his aunt had no response to his comment, making him wonder how she actually felt about all of this. If she didn’t like it, then why was she forcing this on him? Why could he never just be her nephew? Why could they not be just a little selfish once-

A hush suddenly fell over the room as the balcony doors where suddenly pulled open by the guards to reveal-

“Alex,” Zeb gasped, a grin spreading across his face. Ignoring his aunt and all the nobles that wanted to see him, Zeb charged through the crowd to meet Alex at the botton of the steps, the crowd parting before him, leading him straight to Alex as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Their where a thousand things Zeb wanted to say to Alex, but as he reached him, he found the words wouldn’t leave his mouth. All he could do was stare at Alex in traditional Lasan clothing. Though instead of the traditional greens and browns his outfit like Zeb’s was mostly white with purple stripping on the sleeves. 

“Y-you look great-“ Zeb stammered out, mind unable to form anything else. 

“Thanks,” Alex said, smiling softly. “Chava made this for me.” Chava. Of course she did. 

“Well Lasan looks good on you,” Zeb awkwardly informed him. 

“Oh um thank you-“ Alex said, cutting himself off as music started playing. Zeb glanced around the room, locking eyes with his father who smirked and waved at Alex. Right, they should dance. 

“Would you um- I mean it would give me great pleasure if you would- um-“ Zeb stammered, awkwardly holding his hand out for Alex to take, struggling to ask the simple question.

Alex softly laughed softly as he took his hand saying, “I would love to dance with you.” Zeb beamed at him as he slipped his other hand around Alex’s waist and pulled him close, Alex tentatively placing his hand on Zeb's shoulder as Zeb started to gently sway with him to the music. 

As they moved across the dancefloor, all the nobles forming a circle around them, Zeb felt Alex stiffen in his arms. 

“Scared?” Zeb whispered into his ear. 

“Terrified,” Alex admitted. 

“Me too,” Zeb admitted. 

“They’re all staring…” Alex mumbled. 

“It helps to just ignore them,” Zeb gently told him, tenderly bringing him closer as they continued to dance. 

“How do you do that?”

“Focus on me instead,” Zeb whispered, Alex’s face turning red. “It’s what I always do.”

“Even when I’m not with you?”

“Especially then,” Zeb assured, Alex ducking his head, face even redder, making Zeb laugh.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“You’re so cute when you blush,” Zeb said with a chuckle. 

“But here?” Alex eventually awkwardly said. 

“Why not? No one else matters, it’s just us,” Zeb assured, 

“You’re the prince now-“

“So?” Zeb interrupted. “Being royalty shouldn’t mean I can’t make the man I love embarrassed.”

“Won’t your aunt mind?”

“She minds everything I do,” Zeb sighed, “So I might as well be happy at least.”

“True….” Alex mumbled. 

“Is something wrong?” Zeb asked. 

“No,” Alex assured as the song came to an end. 

“Come with me,” Zeb breathed in Alex’s ear as more couples rushed onto the dance floor, Alex gently taking Zeb’s hand and allowing himself to be led out of the ballroom and into the gardens. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he led Alex deeper into the gardens, positive Alex could hear it. The only thing holding him together was Alex’s hand in his own, a reassuring warmth that promised happiness for him, for them both. 

The moonlight path continued further into the gardens, becoming more and more unkempt as they walked until the path sharply turned to their final destination. The small corner of the garden had over the years been mostly enclosed by wild plants and bushed, the small bench long forgotten, until tonight. Candles where carefully placed around the small area, basking the area with a soft glow. 

“What is this place?” Alex softly asked. 

“Before they got married….this was where my parents met in secret,” Zeb said, turning to look at Alex, still amazed by how beautiful he was. “It’s also where my dad proposed to my mom.”

“Zeb-“ Alex breathed, swallowing thickly. “Why- why are we here?”

“Alex,” Zeb slowly began, taking Alex’s other hand in his free hand, squeezing both. “This place was special to my parents, and I want this place to be special to us.”

“Zeb-“ Alex started to say.

“Alexsandr-“ Zeb began at the same time. When Alex hesitated, Zeb quickly continued, “Alex I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to grow old with you and be by your side always. Alexsandr, will you marry me?”

“Zeb-“ Alex choked, eyes watery. “I can’t.”

“What?” Zeb gasped, body turning to ice. Didn’t Alex love him?

“I’m not royalty Zeb,” Alex whispered, tears streaming down his face. “I’m not even a Lasat!”

“I don’t care about any of that,” Zeb gently assured. “I love you Alex, I want to be with you exactly as you are. I don’t want to marry some noble Lasat woman and have a bunch of heirs. I don’t need that. I just need you-“

“What about what Lasan needs?” Alex asked, voice breaking. He wanted Zeb, he could see that, so why was Alex rejecting him? “Lasan needs a king, a king who can- who can have heirs to rule when he’s gone.”

“None of that matters-“ Zeb assured

“I can’t have children!” Alex snapped.

“I know that,” Zeb tenderly said. “I know and that doesn’t matter. I love you Alex and I know we can work through anything-“

“Not this,” Alex whispered, voice breaking as he pulled his hands out of Zeb’s. “I’m sorry Zeb, I love you but I just can’t.” Before Zeb could even think of a response Alex was gone. 

\----

Don’t look back, don’t look back. Alex repeated to himself over and over again as he ran away from the garden, from happiness, from Zeb. Keep running, don’t look back. If he looked back he might change his mind and race back into Zeb’s arms, but he couldn’t. He had to do this for Lasan-

“Where are you going?” Efrem asked, Alex’s body freezing against his will.

“I-I have to leave-“

“Why?” Efrem firmly said. 

“Lasan-“

“I don’t want to hear about Lasan or the throne or anything to do with any of that,” Efrem interrupted. “All I want to know is why you don’t want to marry Zeb.”

“I-…Alex swallowed thickly, struggling to form a response. He couldn’t marry Zeb because of those things. Didn’t Efrem understand that? “I’ll die.” Alex finally choked out. “Long before Zeb will and….I’m scared how it will affect him-“

“Everyone dies,” Efrem said. “It’s a part of life.”

“Bu-“

“Losing a loved one is hard,” Efrem said, cutting off Alex. “Trust me, I know. When my wife died…it nearly broke me. At first going on was so hard, but I realized, she wouldn’t want to me to cling onto the past and not move on, she would want me to be happy and live life to the fullest. Yes, I wish I had more time with her, but even if I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn’t because it is so much better to have loved and lost then to have never loved.”

“What will he do when I’m gone?” Alex asked, voice shaking. 

“Remember the good times with you,” Efrem said. “He’ll look back on every moment, good and bad, and cherish them all. It will hurt, but he will be so glad to have had the time he had.”

“…what did I do?” Alex whispered. 

“Hey, it’s not over,” Efrem sternly said. “Go back to Zeb and tell him how you really feel.”

“But I said no-“

“It doesn’t matter,” Efrem said. “Zeb wants you. He won’t be angry at you, but you need to go now!” Alex was certain it was too late. He’d ruined any chance of happiness with Zeb, but Efrem sounded so sure. So confident, Alex couldn’t help but believe him. As much as he wanted to move, to run back to Zeb’s arms, his feet where frozen, unable to move. “Go!” Efrem snapped, the sharp command giving him the willpower to turn and run back through the grounds and back to the garden, right where he left Zeb. Zeb, dear sweet Zeb who hadn’t moved from the spot he’d left him, collapsed on the ground, weakly crying. 

“Zeb,” Alex softly said, Zeb’;s head whipping up, eyes filling with hope. “I’m so sorry Zeb-“

“You came back,” Zeb breathed, getting back to his feet. 

“Yea,” Alex said. “I-…I don’t know what I was thinking-“

“Alex,” Zeb gently interrupted. “I don’t know how to um properly ask again-“

“Yes,” Alex said. “If I still-“ Before he could even finish, Zeb pulled him into a passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around him, Alex melting into the kiss. 

“Always.” Zeb breathed when they broke apart, pressing his forehead against Alex’s. “As much as I want to keep kissing you, we’re needed in the ballroom.”

“Why?” 

“We need to officially announce our engagement,” Zeb said, a wide grin burst across his face. 

“Right,” Alex agreed. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you happy to do something involving the court.”

“This is the first time I’ve wanted to do something with the court,” Zeb admitted, kissing his cheek. “Are you ready?”

“Always,” Alex assured, taking Zeb’s offered hand in his own.


End file.
